


"yunho: don’t expose me like this mingi"

by pipsiev2



Series: wooyoung: it really be like that sometimes [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band), K-pop
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Nonbinary Character, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Multi, No Angst, Nonbinary Character, Over use of Memes, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Relationships, Polyamorous Character, Texting, i dont believe in angst fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-10-31 16:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17853131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipsiev2/pseuds/pipsiev2
Summary: yunho:i need to wear a crosshongjoong:???yunho:so this way i can have the power of god AND anime on my sideyunho:blease bless me sky papimingi:came in just to say Never Say That Again__________________ORYunho meets Seonghwa while they're out with Mingi. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. mingi: hes my mother (day 0)

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is from mingi's perspective about yunhwa's relationship btw (idk why please dont ask why)
> 
> there's side relationships and honestly i thought this was gonna be a lot more yunhwa centric when i first started writing this but also im pretty sure i overestimated my ability to write romance
> 
> also! roomate situation is like hongjoong n mingi, wooyoung n yeosang, and seonghwa is by himself. I didnt really specify anyone else so imagine it as you please
> 
> also this probably resembles facebook messaging the most from what ive been but imagine whatever messaging site you want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**yunho:** hey you ever just uh_ 
> 
> _**yunho:** meet a pretty dude and wanna cry_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i binge wrote this in a week rip  
> the chapter titles have day___ in it bc thats how many days it's been after yunhwa meet
> 
> a new chapter should be out every week, hopefully, since this is all prewritten
> 
>  **mingi:** mingi/min/song  
>  **yunho:** yunho  
>  **hongjoong:** hongjoong/kim  
>  **seonghwa:** mars/park

**_idiots:_ **

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _hey you ever just uh_

 **_yunho:_ ** _meet a pretty dude and wanna cry_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _are you okay???_

**_mingi:_ ** _no they aren’t_

**_yunho:_ ** _yes i am_

 **_yunho:_ ** _don’t expose me like this mingi_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _explain_

**_mingi:_ ** _seonghwa is wearing eyeliner_

 **_mingi:_ ** _eye makeup in general_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ah_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _so basically_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _bisexual crisis_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _sweet_

**_yunho:_ ** _i hate both of you_

 **_yunho:_ ** _no i don’t_

 **_yunho:_ ** _come cuddle me please_

 **_yunho:_ ** _also why does everyone know cute dude but me_

 **_yunho:_ ** _this is homophobic_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _im gay_

**_mingi:_ ** _imagine thinking your friends ex is cute_

 **_mingi:_ ** _and telling your friend_

 **_mingi:_ ** _and his response to you calling him homophobic for knowing his ex_

 **_mingi:_ ** _is literally just “im gay”_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _thanks_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _i try_

**_yunho:_ ** _ah fuck cute dudes off limits_

 **_yunho:_ ** _sorry_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _dont know where in hat convo you got the words_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _“seonghwa is off limits”_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _but you do you_

**_mingi:_ ** _seonghwa is literally like_

 **_mingi:_ ** _v single and willing to somewhat mingle_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _the blonde hairs doing him favors that he doesnt need nor want_

**_yunho:_ ** _what the FUCK_

 

 

* * *

 

**_dm:mars:_ **

**_min:_ ** _whats your opinion on nonbinary people_

 **_min:_ ** _just outta curiousity_

**_mars:_ ** _well that didnt completely come from left feild_

**_min:_ ** _my friend that was with me earlier thinks that youre cute_

**_mars:_ ** _oh_

 **_mars:_ ** _sweet_

**_min:_ ** _theyre friends with hongjoong_

**_mars:_ ** _OH_

 **_mars:_ ** _SWEET_

**_min:_ ** _they think youre off limits bc exes_

**_mars:_ ** _less sweet but i can manage_

 **_mars:_ ** _tell em that idc about hongjoong or something idk_

* * *

 

**_yunhwa shippers unite!!!:_ **

**_mingi:_** _*_ _sent a screenshot*_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _wow_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _im really feeling the love here_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _that prick_

**_mingi:_ ** _hed Die for you_

 **_mingi:_ ** _dont test him_

**_yunho:_ ** _MARS_

 **_yunho:_ ** _WHY DOES HE GET A CUTE NICKNAME IN YOUR PHONE BUT WE DONT_

**_mingi:_ ** _hes my mother_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _so i had a chance at being your stepdad_

**_mingi:_ ** _wdym youre both my parents_

 **_mingi:_ ** _youre just like divorcedbutstillfriends parents that have nothing to talk about but the common good of your child_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _just what kind of divorces have you seen_

**_mingi:_ ** _dw about it_

 **_mingi:_ ** _also i told him you were upset that he said he didnt care about you and he was like_

 **_mingi:_ ** _NO PLS MY BB IL HIM I WAS KIDDING_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _good_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _its what he deserves_

**_yunho:_ ** _mother?_

 **_yunho:_ ** _nvm i don’t like him anymore_

 **_yunho:_ ** _i dont want you as a child thtd be weird_

**_mingi:_ ** _ill kill you_

**_yunho:_ ** _and asjhdskfjha hongjoong how are you still on good terms with your ex that you never told me about_

 **_yunho:_ ** _you snake_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _if any of the three of us were a snake itd be mingi but go off i guess_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _it was a pretty clean break tbh_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _didnt really feel like we were anything more than friends who kissed sometimes tbh_

**_mingi:_ ** _you lacked the pizzazz_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _never say that again_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _an when i say like friends who kissed i mean like_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _the romance wasnt there_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _not like_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _“damn i wanna bang but we aint so imma yeet out of here”_

**_mingi:_ ** _hey hongjoong_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _???_

**_mingi:_ ** _never say that again_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _you know what_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _i respect that_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _i walked right into that and you took advantage of that_

**_yunho:_ ** _huh_

 **_yunho:_ ** _what the fuck did i just read_

**_mingi:_ ** _beauty_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _art_

**_yunho:_ ** _…_

 **_yunho:_ ** _…_

 **_yunho:_ ** _..okay…_

* * *

 

**_high school heartthrobs:_ **

 

 **_song:_ ** _youre gonna try to set them up_

**_kim:_ ** _of course i am_

 **_kim:_ ** _what do you take me for_

 **_kim:_ ** _a heathen???_

**_song:_ ** _Yes._

**_kim:_ ** _W O W_

 **_kim:_ ** _IM HURT_

**_song:_ ** _good_

 **_song:_ ** _as you should_

**_park:_ ** _you two realize that I Am Right Here right_

**_song:_ ** _you say that like you have any objections_

**_park:_ ** _fucjk_

 **_park:_ ** _dont call me out like this man what if a cute girl hears you_

**_song:_ ** _then perish_

**_kim:_ ** _is this how yunho feels_

**_song:_ ** _no_

 **_song:_ ** _theyre too busy having a bisexual crisis to care about the shit we meme_

 **_song:_ ** _they just care if they want to interrogate_

 **_song:_ ** _or cuddle_

**_kim:_ ** _are they reading this off of your phone_

 **_kim:_ ** _mingi please_

**_park:_ ** _uh_

**_song:_ ** _of course not_

 **_song:_ ** _i waited until they were alseep to message_

 **_song:_ ** _yunho is cute persn and were cuddling_

 **_song:_ ** _yunhos so nice to hod prove me wrong_

**_park:_ ** _i mean ive never held them so i cant_

**_kim:_ ** _ive held them_

**_song:_ ** _and_

**_kim:_ ** _youre right and you should say it_

**_song:_ ** _exactly_

 **_song:_ ** _my point has been proven_

 **_song:_ ** _imma stip messaging now bc i need to hold them to the best of my mortal abilities_

 **_song:_ ** _see ya whenever_

**_park:_ ** _“mortal abilities”_

 **_park:_ ** _you cant even exists withotu being a mess what abilities do you have_

**_kim:_ ** _i mean_

 **_kim:_ ** _he can kinda spell_

 **_kim:_ ** _sometimes_

**_park:_ ** _were texting who cares abotu spelling_

 **_park:_ ** _like im not gonna emial my college professor like this but also_

 **_park:_ ** _mingis not my college professor hes my how to get laid101 professor and ive been fialing the class for years_

**_kim:_ ** _i thought he was your son_

**_park:_ ** _i give you the rights to him_

**_kim:_ ** _please dont_

 **_kim:_ ** _i cant even take care of myself imagine a whole mingi_

 **_kim:_ ** _thats like_

 **_kim:_ ** _three dogs_

**_park:_ ** _ajhfsjhkjhjklkls_

 **_park:_ ** _three dogs im_

**_kim:_ ** _i wouldve said koala but like_

 **_kim:_ ** _i feel so bad for koalas_

 **_kim:_ ** _they die of starvation if their teeth ge too small bc they dont grow more_

 **_kim:_ ** _and the leaves they eat have little value_

 **_kim:_ ** _i love those funky little idiots but like also bbs ):_

**_park:_ ** _thats_

 **_park:_ ** _thats so sad wtf_

 **_park:_ ** _i didnt knwo this why didnt in knw this_

 **_park:_ ** _better question qhy do you know this off the top of your head_

**_kim:_ ** _san got sad about it and cried about it_

 **_kim:_ ** _the kid couldnt stop for hours_

 **_kim:_ ** _oh yeah yunho knows san btw_

**_park:_ ** _san my bb ))):_

 **_park:_ ** _also oh damn why does yunho know everyine i know damn_

**_kim:_ ** _funny_

 **_kim:_ ** _yunho asked the same thing_

**_park:_ ** _great minds think alike (;_

**_kim:_ ** _fools seldom differ_

**_park:_ ** _i_

 **_park:_ ** _i hate that you know the rest of that_

**_kim:_ ** _i love you too!!!_


	2. park: and hes JONGHO (day 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __**juice:** because im a strong boi  
>  **juice:** these are my strong hands  
>  **juice:** n i use them to squeeze froot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **mingi:** song/mingi/gi/the deep one/mango/min/not really a hyung  
>  **seonghwa:** park/mars  
>  **yunho:** ho/the tall one  
>  **hongjoong:** kim  
>  **jongho:** the strong one/maknae/juice  
>  **wooyoung:** the pretty one  
>  **yeosang:** yuzu

**_high school heartthrobs:_ **

 

**_song:_ ** _ *sent an image* _

**_song:_ ** _ I Love Them _

**_song:_ ** _ seonghwa if you hurt them i Kill You _

 

**_park:_ ** _ i don’t even have a way to talk to them _

**_park:_ ** _ give me their number first asshole _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ !!! _

**_kim:_ ** _ yunhos so cute _

 

**_song:_ ** _ of course they are _

**_song:_ ** _ send a pic and they’ll think about it _

 

**_park:_ ** _ *sent an image* _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ W O W _

**_kim:_ ** _ YOU DIDNT EVEN HESITATE _

 

**_park:_ ** _ why woukd i _

 

**_song:_ ** _ i wont hesitate  _

**_song:_ ** _ bitch _

 

**_park:_ ** _ im cute _

**_park:_ ** _ theyre cuter _

**_park:_ ** _ togther wed be a power duo so great even jongho couldnt handle our power _

**_park:_ ** _ and hes JONGHO _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ what about us _

 

**_park:_ ** _ joong weve been over this _

**_park:_ ** _ your beauty is too powerful for me _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ … _

**_kim:_ ** _ i love you _

 

**_park:_ ** _ no u _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ O: _

**_kim:_ ** _ no U _

 

**_song:_ ** _ no _

**_song:_ ** _ me _

 

**_park:_ ** _ of course _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ we didnt include you because parental and platonic love are two different things _

**_kim:_ ** _ of course we love you _

 

**_park:_ ** _ youre our bb ))))): _

**_park:_ ** _ uncomparable to anyone else )))): _

 

**_song:_ ** _ huh _

**_song:_ ** _ thanks _

 

* * *

 

**_dm:ho:_ **

 

 ** _gi:_** _*sent a screenshot*_

**_gi:_ ** _ *sent a screenshot* _

**_gi:_** _*sent a screenshot*_

**_gi:_ ** _ it looks like theyre flirting theyre not _

**_gi:_ ** _ teust me id know _

 

**_ho:_ ** _ when did you take that picture _

 

**_gi:_ ** _ dw about it _

 

**_ho:_ ** _ what the fuck _

**_ho:_ ** _ on the one hand _

**_ho:_ ** _ i want to be mad that you took that Withouv Me Knowing _

**_ho:_ ** _ on the other gabd  _

**_ho:_ ** _ he wants my number i see _

 

**_gi:_ ** _ yeah _

**_gi:_ ** _ hongjoong and i told him that youre whipped _

 

**_ho:_ ** _ YOU DID WHAT _

 

**_gi:_ ** _ he spilled coffe on himself _

**_gi:_ ** _ it was hilarious ill get wooyoung to send you the video _

 

**_ho:_ ** _ WAIT _

**_ho:_ ** _ he knows wooyoung _

**_ho:_ ** _ ? _

 

**_gi:_ ** _ im being completely honest when i tel you _

**_gi:_ ** _ i have no idea how the fck you two didnt meet earlier _

**_gi:_ ** _ literally our entire friend group knows both of you how the fuck have you two never gone to the sane meetups _

**_gi:_ ** _ like this friend group is comprised of eight people and you two Just Met whag the duck _

 

**_ho:_ ** _ huh _

**_ho:_ ** _ it really do be like that _

**_ho:_ ** _ yiu guys got together earlier? _

 

**_gi:_ ** _ yeah seonghwa was waiting for yeosang so the two of them could go with san and wooyoung to the sance studio after woo’s shift ended _

 

**_ho:_ ** _ o he dances _

**_ho:_ ** _ sweet _

 

* * *

 

**_the blank ones:_ **

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ one of you _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ make plans _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ no _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ your crushes will Literally be there _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ mingi has a crush _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ no _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _? _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ dw about it jongho _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ youll find out one day _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ yunho ill kill you _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ as long as you make those plans with seonghwa then sure _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ do what youd like _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ you know seonghwa? _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ theyve been flirting theough me and hongjoong _

**_the deep one:_ ** _ seonghwa even asked for yunhos number but theyve yet to respond _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ wait what _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ WHAT _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ HE WAS BEING SERIOUS WHAT _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ GIVE THE MAN MY NUMBWE SONG MINGI WHAT THE FUCK _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ as long as you make he pic he sent his pfp _

**_the deep one:_ ** _ *sent a screenshot* _

**_the deep one:_ ** _ here _

**_the deep one:_ ** _ some bettwr wuality  _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ what the fuck _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ yo i swear if you two get cuffed before i do im theowing hands _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ is that at seonghwa and yunho or me and yunho _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ both _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ yeah gi _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ dont get cuffed before jongho _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ EW WHY WOUDL YOU DO THAT UOU MINSTR _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ ? _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ THAT MONSTWR JUST LICKED ME _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ *kissed _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ FUCK OFF YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ well _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ this sure is something to come in on _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ yeosang says hi btw _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ tell him we say hi too! _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ scrool up _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ bold of you to assume that i havent already _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ what if yeosang gets cuffed before jongho _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ wooyoung i love you _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ oh come ON _

**_the deep one:_ ** _ HOW _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ i live with ½ and yunho has pics _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ what _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ dont worry your head maknae _

 

* * *

 

**_dm:maknae:_ **

 

**_not really a hyung:_ ** _ nah fuck this im not letting yunho get a kick outta this _

**_not really a hyung:_ ** _ you and yeosang are cute and i want to hold and hug both of you and cuddke you _

**_not really a hyung:_ ** _ dw about not getting ciffed before me bc like even if you dont like me back youre bf material _

**_not really a hyung:_ ** _ so like yeah reject me or not _

 

**_maknae:_ ** _ no im not _

**_maknae:_ ** _ rejecting you _

**_maknae:_ ** _ hol up _

 

* * *

 

**_choi jongho added song mingi and kang yeosang to a group chat:_ **

**_choi jongho renamed the group chat “lovestruck dumbasses”:_ **

**_choi jongho renamed choi jongho “juice”:_ **

**_choi jongho renamed song mingi “mango”:_ **

**_choi jongho renamed kang yeosang “yuzu”:_ **

 

**_juice:_ ** _ *sent a screenshot* _

**_juice:_ ** _ im asexual _

 

**_mango:_ ** _ why do we get fruits but you get juice _

 

**_juice:_ ** _ because im a strong boi _

**_juice:_ ** _ these are my strong hands _

**_juice:_ ** _ n i use them to squeeze froot _

 

**_mango:_ ** _ sweet _

**_mango:_ ** _ also im glad you told me _

**_mango:_ ** _ this changes nothing btw _

 

**_yuzu:_ ** _ lovesttruck dumbasses _

**_yuzu:_ ** _ way to call us out like this _

**_yuzu:_ ** _ and im glad hat stripping yunho of enjoyment is enough to confess your feelings _

**_yuzu:_ ** _ sorta wish i had been messaged too but nice _

 

**_mango:_ ** _ wooyoung and yunho were lowkey exposing me in a gc i have with them and jongho _

**_mango:_ ** _ i cant handle that embarrassment man _

**_mango:_ ** _ not like this is Much Better because it sort of isnt _

 

**_juice:_ ** _ ? _

 

**_mango:_ ** _ yunho doesnt know that i did this btw and so theyre just looking at me hunchde over my phone and have no idea whats going on _

 

**_yuzu:_ ** _ why are you still embarrassed? _

 

**_mango:_ ** _ you literally had no response other than nice _

**_mango:_ ** _ i feel Fear _

**_mango:_ ** _ sorta wish id done this in person :/ _

 

**_yuzu:_ ** _ i like you too _

**_yuzu:_ ** _ like jongho too _

 

**_juice:_ ** _ oh bet _

**_juice:_ ** _ sweet _

 

**_yuzu:_ ** _ lets meet up tomorrow _

 

**_mango:_ ** _ oh !!! _

**_mango:_ ** _ sure! _

 

**_yuzu:_ ** _ <333333 _

 

* * *

 

**_dm:mars:_ **

 

**_min:_ ** _ heres yuns number _

**_min:_ ** _ 055-1346-6860 _

**_min:_ ** _ also i might be getting 2 boyfriends tomorrow who knows _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ what _

**_mars:_ ** _ how _

 

 ** _min:_** _*sent a screenshot*_

 ** _min:_** _*_ _sent a screenshot*_

 ** _min:_** _*sent a screenshot*_

**_min:_ ** _ so basically _

**_min:_ ** _ if this goes well then i get bragging rights over yunho _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ im gonna be completely honest with you here _

**_mars:_ ** _ i genuinely don think that ive ever seen you and jongho interact _

 

**_min:_ ** _ thats because you stopped living with me and joong _

**_min:_ ** _ and most of the time he comes over  _

**_min:_ ** _ and most other times im with him weer also with yunho _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ f _

**_mars:_ ** _ im glad youre happy tho (: _

**_mars:_ ** _ setadpu dnes _

 

**_min:_ ** _ please never do that again _

  
**_mars:_ ** _ )))))))))))))): _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't stop thinking about san screaming "it's the sea" and jongho just lifting him up and threatening to throw him in the water while san shrieks like a dolphin


	3. mars rover: shut up you have no rights (day 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**mars:** yall really had to do it to me didnt ya_
> 
> _**min:** no one asked you to message me_
> 
> _**mars:** touche_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **mingi:** mingi/min/minnie mouse/roommin  
>  **hongjoong:** hongjoong/joongmate  
>  **yunho:** yunho  
>  **seonghwa:** mars/mars rover  
>  **yeosang:** boyfie material  
>  **san:** sans undertale

**_yunhwa shippers unite!!!:_ **

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _yunho_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _are you busy right now_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _yeah_

 **_yunho:_ ** _wait no_

 **_yunho:_ ** _no im not_

 **_yunho:_ ** _why?_

 **_yunho:_ ** _did something happen?_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _ive been exiled_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _so im going over to woo n yeos place_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _to hang out with woo and san_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _we can invite seonghwa too_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _BET_

 **_yunho:_ ** _i need to wear a cross_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _???_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _so this way i can have the power of god AND anime on my side_

 **_yunho:_ ** _blease bless me sky papi_

 

 **_mingi:_ ** _came in just to say Never Say That Again_

 **_mingi:_ ** _also haha this is revenge for all the times you and seonghwa did that to me_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _shut up and get bck to your cuddle pile_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _youre cuddling without me?_

 

 **_mingi:_ ** _im on a Date_

 **_mingi:_ ** _goodbye_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _WAITR WHAT_

 **_yunho:_ ** _SINCE WHEN_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _lmao_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _YOU KNEW YOU TRAITOR_

 **_yunho:_ ** _WHEN THE FUCK DIDNHE HAVE TIMETFOR THAT WHAT THE FUCKJ_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _seonghwa told me_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _HE DIDNT TELL ME WHA THE FUCK_

 **_yunho:_ ** _WE SPENT HOURS TALKING YESTERDAY HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _you did???_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _yeah mingi actualyl gave him my number_

 **_yunho:_ ** _probably becuase he knew abotu his BETRAYSL_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _and you didnt tell us???_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _im really feeling the love here yunho_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _i Literally didnt know he existed for months_

 **_yunho:_ ** _and only found out after i Mett Him In Person_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _you got me there_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _fuck yeah i do_

 **_yunho:_ ** _checkmate atheist_

 **_yunho:_ ** _n e ways_

 **_yunho:_ ** _im leaving my home rn blease invite seonghwa_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _ah_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _young love_

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _how beautiful_

 

 **_yunho:_ ** _you speak like an old man_

 

 **_hongjoong:_ ** _Good_

 

* * *

 

**_dm:mars:_ **

 

 **_mars:_ ** _ik youre on your date but like_

 **_mars:_ ** _joong is here with yunho and theyre so cute_

 **_mars:_ ** _but also_

 **_mars:_ ** _theyre sweet and stuff_

 **_mars:_ ** _and Tall_

 **_mars:_ ** _so tall_

 

 **_min:_ ** _yeosang says show them your aegyo video_

 

 **_mars:_ ** _n O_

 **_mars:_ ** _BURN THAT IN FIRE_

 

 **_min:_ ** _yeosang’s pouting please_

 **_min:_ ** _jongho says if you dont he will_

 

 **_mars:_ ** _yall really had to do it to me didnt ya_

 

 **_min:_ ** _no one asked you to message me_

 

 **_mars:_ ** _touche_

 

* * *

 

**_sans undertale or choi san idk anymore:_ **

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _is yunho soft_

 **_mars rover:_ ** _and do any of you think i have a chance_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _theyre a cuddly bear_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _they usually cuddle mingi tho_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _):_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _u should ask tho_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _sit next to them and get them to laugh_

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _theyll just cling to you like a koala_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _):_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _its okay san_

 **_mars rover:_ ** _theyll be happier on the other side_

 **_mars rover:_ ** _get to eat as many kinda poisonous leaves as they want_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _i jus want them to be hap_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _am i missing something?_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _honjoong told me somethign dw about it_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _yeah i didnt rememebr telling u_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _was kinda confused but jsut went w it_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _wait does this mean yunho has poison resistance_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _please dont test it_

 

 **_minnie mouse:_ ** _test ut_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _updarte_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _seonghwa actully asked yunho if they culd eat poison leaves and yunho just_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _died_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _yunho is on top of seongwha dna seonghwa is red_

 

**_minnie mouse:_  ** _guess they dont_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _pics or it didnt happen_

 

 ** _sans undertale:_** _*sent an image*_

 ** _sans undertale:_** _*sent an image*_

 ** _sans undertale:_** _*sent an image*_

 ** _sans undertale:_** _*sent an image*_

 ** _sans undertale:_** _*sent an image*_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _what do u take me for_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _unprepared?_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _wait san_

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _do me a solid?_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _?_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _show them the aegyo video_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _FUCK I FORGOT THAT EXISTED_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _someone pls send it bc yunhos getting of of seonghwa n itll take me too long pls_

 

 ** _minnie mouse:_** _*sent a video*_

 **_minnie mouse:_ ** _i hvent been speaking Just to already have this ready to send_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _we love a prepared king!_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _this is favoritism_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _fuck yeah it is_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _all of you are dead when i get my hands on you_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _jongho_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _jsut who do you think i am_

 **_mars roevr:_ ** _ill just murder both of you and then leave without a trace_

 **_mars rover:_ ** _new phone new name new life_

 

 **_minnie mouse:_ ** _maybe youll change your name to jeong hwaseong_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _jeong?_

 

 **_minnie mouse:_ ** _cant ahve a datemate if you kill poeple and live the rest of your life in hiding now can you_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _hes right and he should say it_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _youre alive!_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _yeah_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _hongjoong was there seonghwa couldnt do shit_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _also honjoong and wooyoug joined the cuddle pile so i shall too gbye hf on the date mingi_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _what aout me_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _what about u?_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _wait a minute_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _WAIT A MINUTE_

 

 **_minnie mouse:_ ** _jonghos laughinat you btw_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _HOW COULD U NTO TELL ME ):_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _hongjoons laughing at me tell him to stop_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _thas what u get for asking him y jeong_

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _exposing urself before theres even smthign to expose smh_

 

 **_mars rover:_ ** _shut up you have no rights_

 

 **_boyfie material:_ ** _-park seonghwa, 1998-2019_

 

 **_minnie mouse:_ ** _can you two start talking in person now?_

 

 **_sans undertale:_ ** _idk what u mean theresonly one of us here now_

 

 **_minnie mouse:_ ** _sure jan_

 

* * *

 

**_dm:joongmate:_ **

 

 **_roommin:_ ** _they left_

 **_roommin:_ ** _you can come back_

 

 **_joongmate:_ ** _sweet_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _im pretty sure im pseudo fifth wheeling rn i dont like it_

 

 **_roommin:_ ** _): come here and ill cuddle you_

 **_roommin:_ ** _we can talk_

 **_roommin:_ ** _emergency roommate meeting_

 **_roommin:_ ** _requirement: be there or be square_

 **_roommin:_ ** _ill make hot coco just tell me when youre off the bus_

 

 **_joongmate:_ ** _i love you_

 

 **_roommin:_ ** _i love you too!_

 **_roommin:_ ** _we all do_

 

 **_joongmate:_ ** _ahhhhhhhhhhhh ik ik_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _seonghwas been giving me worried looks for the past ten minutes_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _like were broken up and theres a Reason for it but also_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _he Knows the reason_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _obviously since i told him wehn i broke up with him_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _im p sure he could tell that i was Uncomfortable so_

 

 **_roommin:_ ** _seonghwa wouldnt make you uncomfy on purpose_

 

 **_joongmate:_ ** _ik its just been a Day yknow???_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _seonghwa tried making me comfy but it didnt work_

 

 **_roommin:_ ** _im sorry i kicked you out of the apartment ):_

 

 **_joongmate:_ ** _nah youre fine_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _get your boyfie and boyfriend_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _im just sleepy_

 

 **_roommin:_ ** _):_

 **_roommin:_ ** _cuddles n coco when you come back or tomorrow?_

 

 **_joongmate:_ ** _when i come back_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _i love you_

 **_joongmate:_ ** _thank you_

 

 **_roommin:_ ** _i love you too!_

 **_roommin:_ ** _(:_

 

 **_joongmate:_ ** _(((:_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've got questions (that i don't really expect an answer to lmao)  
> 1) should i make a twitter for this account  
> 2) asdfghjkl do any of you listen to oneus


	4. the old one: san just said uwu thatsa me (day 5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**the pretty one:** seonghwa loked like he was gonna punch san in the face  
>  **the pretty one:** hongjoong had to physically restrain him  
>  **the pretty one:** yunho looked like they were watching a puppy video_

**_dm:mars:_ **

 

**_mars:_ ** _ is hongjoong okay? _

**_mars:_ ** _ he seemed off when he left yesterday _

**_mars:_ ** _ i wanted to message earlier but i didnt want to like _

**_mars:_ ** _ be overbearing while he seemed off _

**_mars:_ ** _ did he make it home safe _

 

**_min:_ ** _ “yes mother” -hongjoong _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ good _

**_mars:_ ** _ can i come over tomorrow? _

 

**_min:_ ** _ yeah _

**_min:_ ** _ joong says yeah too _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ oh sweet _

 

**_min:_ ** _ you want updates dont you _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ of course i do _

**_mars:_ ** _ but take care of hongjoong right now _

 

**_min:_ ** _ hes reading this _

**_min:_ ** _ and also doesnt know anything _

**_min:_ ** _ its two birds with one stone _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ oh _

**_mars:_ ** _ sweet _

 

**_min:_ ** _ its not really that eventful _

**_min:_ ** _ jongho cried at one point thouh _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ theres context to that _

 

**_min:_ ** _ yup _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ youre not gonna tell anyone _

 

**_min:_ ** _ of course i wont _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ did you bring it up as bragging rights that you got to cuddle him _

 

**_min:_ ** _ (: _

**_min:_ ** _ but it is something that the two of you have in common _

**_min:_ ** _ so you mignt already know anyway _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ OH _

**_mars:_ ** _ YEAH I DO _

**_mars:_ ** _ I THINK _

**_mars:_ ** _ SWEET _

 

**_min:_ ** _ i said that and im pretty sure joong has an idea _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ nah jongho told us both _

**_mars:_ ** _ parent line privileges  _

**_mars:_ ** _ (: _

 

**_min:_ ** _ huh _

**_min:_ ** _ somehow _

**_min:_ ** _ you two arent even in the same room and i feel like im thirdwheeling both of you _

**_min:_ ** _ you two arent even in the same GC and im thirdwheeling _

**_min:_ ** _ what is this sourcery _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ it really do be like that sometimes _

**_mars:_ ** _ anythign else other thn jongho crying? _

 

**_min:_ ** _ yeah _

**_min:_ ** _ we made popcorn to eat while we laughed at you in the gc _

**_min:_ ** _ and wooyougn dmed a video of yunhos reaction when they saw the aegyo video _

**_min:_ ** _ yeosang almost started crying of laughter _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ wow _

**_mars:_ ** _ the three of you literally spent your first date laughing at all of your friendns _

 

**_min:_ ** _ you sound more surprised than you outta be _

**_min:_ ** _ oughtta _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ i didnt think yeosang had it in him _

 

**_min:_ ** _ huh _

**_min:_ ** _ i sent that to him ans he said _

**_min:_ ** _ you never see the person only the mask they hide behind _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ damn  _

**_mars:_ ** _ thats fucking deep _

 

**_min:_ ** _ jonghos roasting him rn _

**_min:_ ** _ joongs giggling bc he can See the notifications im getting from that gc lmao _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ ): thats so cute wtf ): _

**_mars:_ ** _ joongs a cute lil bb prove me wrong _

 

**_min:_ ** _ hes pouting _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ hes proving my point thats what hes doing _

**_mars:_ ** _ vc me i wanna see the cute bb _

 

**_min:_ ** _ what about me _

 

**_mars:_ ** _ *cute bbs _

 

**_min:_ ** _ good _

 

* * *

****

**_the blank ones:_ **

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ so im sitting there _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ bbq sause on your titties? _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ perish _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ anyway _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ im sitting there _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ holding san _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ and he just starts _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ cunvulsing _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ and i couldnt tell if he was laughing or crying but he was doing something _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ and h just turns to me _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ “wooyoung” _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ “i need you to do soemthign v v important” _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ “record yunhos reaction while i show him the seonghwa aegyo video” _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ seonghwa was so cute wtf _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ in the video or irl _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ both _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ and he wasnt wearing eyeliner this time  _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ so at least i could breathe _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ seonghwa loked like he was gonna punch san in the face _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ hongjoong had to physically restrain him _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ yunho looked like they were watching a puppy video _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ he made  A Ryan Lunchbox _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ he might as well be a puppy _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ whipped _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ no u _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ i never said i wasnt _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ i just said that yuho was _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ ah _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ young love _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ you are Literally the same age as me _

 

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ yet my bisexual ass is still single _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ which gives me old man reminiscing rights _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ san agrees with me h A _

**_the pretty one:_ ** _ so does yeosang so doiuble ha _

 

* * *

 

**_lovestruck dumbasses:_ **

 

**_juice:_ ** _ yeosang did you actually _

 

**_yuzu:_ ** _ yes _

**_yuzu:_ ** _ yes i did _

 

**_juice:_ ** _ traitor _

 

**_yuzu:_ ** _ oops _

 

* * *

 

**_the blank ones:_ **

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ that traitor _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ anyway im glad that i get to call you an old man now _

 

**_choi jongho renamed jung wooyoung “the old one”:_ **

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ i hate you _

**_the old one:_ ** _ so fucking much _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ #maknaeontop _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ i mean _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ you arent wrong _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ ive been reading this convo out loud to seongwha and hongjoong and theyre both dying _

**_the deep one:_ ** _ seonghwa petitions that san is the maknae on top jongho is jus a fake _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ w o w _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ i see how it is _

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ san IS the maknae _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ … _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ on the one hand _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ i don want my ass beat _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ on the other hand yeah san is the maknae _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ but not on top hes too _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ malleable _

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ san just said uwu thatsa me _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ and HES your maknae? _

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ yeosang laughed and pinched his cheeks and now hes radiating happy energy _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ yeosang you TRAITOR _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ if it makes you feel better hongjoongs on your side _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ what about you _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ im 19 i cant read _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ i can drink to that _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ amen _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ all of you _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ traitors _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ tthis is why hongjoongs the best out off all of you _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ i thought it was becuase hes an actual responsible human being who had a work ethic _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ his work ethic is not sleeping _

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ he literally slept for like three hours when he came over yesterday _

**_the old one:_ ** _ seonghwa went full mother mode on him _

**_the old one:_ ** _ it was kinda domestic tbh _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ yknow what thatsa good point i literakky cuddled him to sleep yestwrday  _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ not to be creppy but _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ you ever see someeone look so pretty while sleeping and wanna cry _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ hongjoong says thanks _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ asdsfgfhjgkjfsdf _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ no ragrets we die like men _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ disorderly and blushing _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ joong says pls dont die _

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ hongjoong sounds like a mother _

 

**_the strong one:_ ** _ hot take _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ yunho liking seonghwa is incest bc seongjoong are their parents _

**_the strong one:_ ** _ but seonghwa and yunho liking each other is paretn child relationship _

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ yeosang looks horrified _

**_the old one:_ ** _ sans been crying of laughter for a while _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ yunho! _

**_the deep one:_ ** _ were siblings! _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ ah _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ fuck _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ wait am i your sibling or your parent _

 

**_the deep one:_ ** _ both _

 

**_the tall one:_ ** _ ah _

**_the tall one:_ ** _ fuck^2 _

 

**_the old one:_ ** _ lmaooooo _


	5. hongjoong: im powerful but not THAT powerful (day 12)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __**kim:** mingi im not coming back  
>  **kim:** wait not like that
> 
>  
> 
> _**song:** that sounds so ominous_

**_jongminsang vs yunhwa:_ **

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ so as you know _

**_yunho:_ ** _ its been like eight days since i last saw seonghwa in person _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ the fact that youre counting the days is kinda asd _

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ im not seonghwa jsut pointed it out ot me _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ seonghwa asked you out. _

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ why wasnt that a question _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ parent line prigilages _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ also he was stressing out so much _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ “joongie would it b weird if i asked them do go out with me?” _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ “O: joong what if they think im like comng onto them and dont like it i dont wanna do somehting they dont like” _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ “id ask minky how he did it but we all know that he did it out of need of survival and not death by embarrassment” _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ i mean _

**_mingi:_ ** _ ask jongho i literally told him bc i didnt want yunho and wooyoung exposing my ass _

**_mingi:_ ** _ deriving them of their fun brings me joy _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ “joongie i cant just do what i di with yoy bc all i did w you was jusut ask if you wanted to try kissing n then we were like oki lets try adn then like 3 months later you were like hmmmmmmm i dont like this” _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ theres more but all you need to know was he forgot how to type _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ i cant tell if you copy and pasted what he said with quotes or if youre retyping it _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ i cant retype that quickly _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ im powerful but not THAT powerful _

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ huh _

**_yunho:_ ** _ the more you know _

**_yunho:_ ** _ anygays _

**_yunho:_ ** _ mingi i dont trust san helping me chose an outfit pls help _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ what about me??? _

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ seonghwa _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ this reminds me of a wedding _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ the friends split up between the groom and the  _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ uh _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _  child _

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ THIS ISNT INCEST STIP IT _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ ??? _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ i _

**_mingi:_ ** _ i forgot that that conversation even happened until you rbought it up _

**_mingi:_ ** _ if sans gonna be there does that mean that wooyoungs gonna be there too? _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _what convo?_

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ no sans only here because he pseudo lives with me _

_**yunho:** dont worry about it hongjoong_

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ sweet _

**_mingi:_ ** _jongho called yunhwa incest bc parent line but yunhos your child_

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _it be like that sometimes_

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ seonghwa lives alone _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ which is sad _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ jongho used to think that he moved out because of your breakup _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ we Didnt Even Like Each Other _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ i swear if you go on another rant about how you two love eachother _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ i dont need to you already lnow we love each other _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ but like we woudl we still be this close if there was bad enough blood bewteen us for him to move out _

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ yo quick question _

**_yunho:_ ** _ im over at the two of yous place all the time right _

**_yunho:_ ** _ and it sounds like seonghwa is too _

**_yunho:_ ** _ even though he moved out _

**_yunho:_ ** _ so how the fuck have we never been there at the same time _

 

**_mingi:_ ** _ tbh youve probably walked past each other in the stairwell _

 

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ also im pretty sure you started coming over before seonghwa was even fully moved out _

**_hongjoong:_ ** _ so like you two not meeitng is on you _

 

**_yunho:_ ** _ what the FUCK _

 

* * *

 

**_high school heartthrobs:_ **

 

**_song:_ ** _ can i just say _

**_song:_ ** _ seonghwa no matter how much youre stressing rn bc of your date with yunho _

**_song:_ ** _ theyre also stressing out just as much _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ im pretty sure if we ask san right now for a pic of yinho _

**_kim:_ ** _ theyd be in tears right now _

 

**_park:_ ** _ WAIT WHAT _

**_park:_ ** _ NONO I DONT WANT THEM CRYING WHY ARE THEY CRYING _

**_park:_ ** _ WHAT DOD YOU TWO DO _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ give yunho an existential crisis _

 

**_song:_ ** _ pointed out that you two have probably passed by each otehr and not known it _

**_song:_ ** _ which means that you two not meting was inevitably the product of both of you ebing dumb _

 

**_park:_ ** _ hey _

**_park:_ ** _ hey mingi _

 

**_song:_ ** _ what _

 

**_park:_ ** _ bitch _

 

**_song:_ ** _ perish _

 

**_park:_ ** _ no u _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ seonghwa do you need me to come over _

 

**_park:_ ** _ yes _

**_park:_ ** _ plase _

**_park:_ ** _ the date isnt even today its TOMORROW _

**_park:_ ** _ also i still dont know if yunho thinks its a date date or just a hang out date _

 

**_song:_ ** _ did you say “hey go on a date with me”? _

 

**_park:_ ** _ yes _

 

**_song:_ ** _ then they most definitely know its a date wtf _

 

**_park:_ ** _ i mean i was more like _

**_park:_ ** _ hey i like you a lot and i know er havent known each otehr long _

**_park:_ ** _ but i think youre really cute and sweet and want to know if you wanna go out with me? _

**_park:_ ** _ like a date _

**_park:_ ** _ i mean it doesnt have to be if you dont want it to be we could just hang out bc i really wanna get to know you more _

**_park:_ ** _ in every sense so like if you dont want it to be a date im fine with it but id rather it be a date _

 

**_song:_ ** _ so basically _

**_song:_ ** _ you said “i like you and am asking you on a date but it could be platonic ig” _

 

**_park:_ ** _ not i guess _

**_park:_ ** _ if they want ti to be platonic than it will be _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ its a date _

**_kim:_ ** _ i asked yunho and they sent a screenshot of the convo _

**_kim:_ ** _ they Literally said that they love it to be a date wtf  _

**_kim:_ ** _ seongie plase dont stress so much  _

 

**_park:_ ** _ imnot _

 

**_song:_ ** _ why did that take you five minutes to respond to _

**_song:_ ** _ hongjoong had enough time to quickly get dressed and leave the apartment before you responded _

 

**_park:_ ** _ … _

**_park:_ ** _ i may or may not have been cleaning _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ mingi im not coming back _

**_kim:_ ** _ wait not like that _

 

**_song:_ ** _ that sounds so ominous _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ im sleepingover so dont stay up for me _

 

**_song:_ ** _ oh goof _

**_song:_ ** _ goodnight _

 

**_park:_ ** _ its 5 in the afternoon? _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ huh _

**_kim:_ ** _ who wants to bet that hes just inviting yeosang and jongho over _

 

**_park:_ ** _ no i believe that hes going to bed _

**_park:_ ** _ if he was inviting yeosang and jongho over hed be like _

**_park:_ ** _ ive gotta go cuddle two cuties have fun dying _

 

**_song:_ ** _ you fools _

**_song:_ ** _ im inviting them over in order to cuddle them to sleep _

**_song:_ ** _ also i dont need to tell you to have fun dying i already know youre enjoying it you masochist _

 

**_park:_ ** _ hey _

**_park:_ ** _ thats kinky _

**_park:_ ** _ i would never _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ just because its kinky doesnt mean its sexual _

**_kim:_ ** _ asexual people can have kinks _

 

**_song:_ ** _ joong i love you _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ i love you too!!! _

 

**_park:_ ** _ i _

**_park:_ ** _ i hate this _

**_park:_ ** _ why are you two teaming up on me )))))): _

 

**_song:_ ** _ why not _

  
**_park:_ ** _ perish  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i preordered stray kids new album so that's a good time
> 
> and! next chapter is the final chapter, and it's kinda a big time skip from this one. i might(???) write more of this fic in either texting or written format, i'll probably let you know in the next chapter, but yeah


	6. woodon nwoodles: i WILL fight you you scrawny twink bitch (day 43)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**flirting lessons101:** does that mean i have permission to set sans phone on fire_
> 
> _**woodon nwoodles:** id rather you Not but i cant stop you_
> 
> _**bi²:** u two live together u could most definitly stop him_
> 
> _**woodon nwooldes:** good point_   
>  _**woodon nwoodles:** i just dont care_
> 
> _**bi²:** O:_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **hongjoong:** mullet man  
>  **mingi:** 6ft child  
>  **san:** bi²  
>  **seonghwa:** God  
>  **wooyoung:** woodon nwoodles  
>  **jongho:** froot boi  
>  **yunho:** tol child  
>  **yeosang:** flirting lessons101

**_5 people orgy + 3:_ **

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ in light of recent events _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ it has come to my understanding that most of you dont know that _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ i am aromantic _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ thats it _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ goodbye _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ hes shaking btw _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ mingi i will slap you _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ wbat recent events _

 

**_God:_ ** _ yunho and i are dating _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ ah _

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ those recetn events _

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ wAIT WHAT SINCE WHEN _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ i cant tell if youre surprised that it happened or that its recent _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ tbh both _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ whats the correlation _

**_froot boi:_ ** _ ? _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ stop asking me if seonghwa and hongjoong are secretly still in love with each otehr you monster _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ jongho youve been doing what _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ yeosang bls no b madd at me im a smol froot boi w my froot hands _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ w _

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ what did i jus read _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ shhhhhhh _

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ san dont wuestion it _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ jongho please never do that again _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ blease froot papi _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ i thought we got you to STOP _

 

**_God:_ ** _ no you didnt _

**_God:_ ** _ they just started doing it only to me _

**_God:_ ** _ also fuck you wooyoung we started dating today _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ what the fuck _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ i hate both of you wtf how _

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ i thought you two started dating like _

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ a month ago _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ we went on our first date a month ago _

**_tol child:_ ** _ unlike the three of you bastards we actualy tool our TIME before going into a relationship _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ we met each other like three years ago _

**_6ft child:_ ** _ you two met each other a little over a month ago _

**_6ft child:_ ** _ literally What is your argument _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ we didnt confess via text messages because our friends were being annoying _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ i mean _

**_froot boi:_ ** _ theyre not Wrong _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ jongho y u gotta call ur bf out like this _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ mingi deserves to be roasted _

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ weve spent too long not calling him out on his shit _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ speak for yourself _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ seonghwa and i do that every day _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ i join in sometimes its great _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ why you gotta do me dirty like this _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ bc i love you _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ also you left me alone to get ice cream and im bored _

 

**_God:_ ** _ rip _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ damn i wich i had ice cream _

**_tol child:_ ** _ OH WAIT _

**_tol child:_** _*sent an image*_

**_tol child:_ ** _ hehe suckers _

 

**_God:_ ** _ so nice _

**_God:_ ** _ well then i gtg eat with my datemate so gbye suckers _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ (: _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ they really did it to us didnt they _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ unfollow me now this is all im gonna be talking about for the next week _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ or you could leave the gc _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ no _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ san this has been all theyve talked about for the past month _

**_froot boi:_ ** _ i dont think an extra week is gonna change anything _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ see _

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ jongho thinks this is fine _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ go on twitter and rant about it _

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ go gove random strangers amusement _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ or he could not do that _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ wooyoung _

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ do u think thts gonna Stop Me _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ not in the slightest but i had to try _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ no you didnt _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ no one asked you froot boi _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ o: _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ @joong did you just like die _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ im just reading this silently while waiting for minky to come back from the war _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ thats Actually wooyoung _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ i WILL fight you you scrawny twink bitch _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ try it i dare u _

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ not my fault u never talk until summoned _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ i leave for not even ten minutes and theres already a fight wtf _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ what did you expect _

**_froot boi:_ ** _ us to be civilized _

**_froot boi:_ ** _ ? _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ civilization stippoed believing in us when hongjoong got a mullet _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ take that back _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ dont underestimate me i Will throw hands _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ one word _

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ jongho _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ dont forget _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ we made YOU take an aegyo video too _

**_mullet man:_ ** _ checkmate _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ you did what _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ i forgot about that what the fuck _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ jongho hasnt even seen it yet and hes already about to throw a chair _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ it was a dare okay _

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ seonghwa and i lost a dare and had to make aegyo videos please dont kill me _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ show me the video _

 

**_bi_** ** _²_** ** _:_** _*sent an video*_

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ ive been waiting for nmy moment to shine _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ i wish this video didnt exst _

**_froot boi:_ ** _ burn it in fire _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ rip yeosang _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ does that mean i have permission to set sans phone on fire _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ id rather you Not but i cant stop you _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ u two live together u could most definitly stop him _

 

**_woodon nwooldes:_ ** _ good point _

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ i just dont care _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ O: _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ i can feel the betrayal _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ good _

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ that means my job here is done _

 

**_God:_ ** _ does that mean you guys can stop spamming the gc now _

 

**_mullet man:_ ** _ shut up i thought you were eating ice cream with yunho _

 

**_God:_ ** _ they keep choking bc of this convo _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ we shouldve made this gc earlier its great _

**_tol child:_ ** _ free entertainment _

 

**_6ft child:_ ** _ no u _

 

**_froot boi:_ ** _ no us _

 

**_flirting lessons101:_ ** _ everything we do is free entertainment idk what youre talking about yunho _

 

**_tol child:_ ** _ yeah bit when irl am i gonna see wooyougn call san a scrawny twink bitch _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ anytime u come over? _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ his contact in my phone is scrawny twink bitch _

 

**_bi_ ** **_²_ ** **_:_ ** _ urs is thicc twunk bitch _

 

**_woodon nwoodles:_ ** _ as it should _

 

* * *

 

**_high school heartthrobs:_ **

 

**_park:_ ** _ seriously tho _

**_park:_ ** _ yunhos so nice and cuddly _

**_park:_ ** _ and they look so cute when talking about something that they like _

**_park:_ ** _ and get so excited about everything _

 

**_song:_ ** _ is this you professing your love for them _

 

**_park:_ ** _ actually this was me telling you guys fuck you for not introdicung us earlier _

**_park:_ ** _ but also like thank for actually giving me their number _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ ayyy _

**_kim:_ ** _ mission complete then _

 

**_park:_ ** _ what mission _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ to get you two together _

 

**_park:_ ** _ you literally did nothign _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ i told wooyoung to invite you over and i invited yunho over when jongminsang were getting their shit together excuse you _

 

**_song:_ ** _ i mean _

**_song:_ ** _ joongs got a point _

 

**_park:_ ** _ huh _

**_park:_ ** _ the mroe you know _

**_park:_ ** _ mingi still did more tho _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ i _

**_kim:_ ** _ listen youre not wrong _

**_kim:_ ** _ but you dont have to call me out like this _

 

**_song:_ ** _ hes right and he should say it _

 

**_kim:_ ** _ ): _

 

**_park:_ ** _ lmao _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been over a month and i still can't believe that i wrote this entire thing in a week.  
> anyway! i hope this was a good ride, and hopefully i'll be writing more in this universe!
> 
> (ALSO IM SORRY THIS IS LATE I FORGOT YESTERDAYW AS TUESDAY IM SORRY)


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